New path... new world... new perspective

Wow!

That's all I can say about what has happened to me this week. I started (well... restarted) my university career this week @ RMIT (for those non-Aussie, it's Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology). And from the 3 days that I went to my classes (I only go in Monday's, Wednesdays, and Thursdays) my mind was blown away!

I'm doing a course in Education (Secondary) which basically means I'm getting myself qualified as a Secondary (High School) teacher; more particularly, a science teacher. Why in the world would I do that, you're asking? Well, short answer --> brainwash kids so the future will be bright and peaceful... hehehe...

Long answer --> it's something exciting and something new and something I've always entertained. (Ok, so it's not exactly a long answer, but at least it's an honest one!)

Anyways, classes are great! Really, really, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, different than those science degree classes. For one thing, I actually find that my core classes are kind of a bit philosophical. And my tutorial class is runned by a hyper-crazy man. I could really feel that the department's policy is to produce the next generation teachers, more progressive and advanced than those traditional ones we have experienced ourselves back when we were in school.

I'm excited... so excited that I'm scared. I have TOTALLY no idea on what it will be like to be a teacher. I have no idea how to teach a class... I don't even know how to manage a class!!

But I want to... for now I don't have much of a purpose or goal for being a teacher. I vaguely remember what I wrote in my personal statement that I included in my uni application. But fear seems to be overshadowing me. The fear of what? I don't know... it is just the plain raw fear that seems to inhabit a corner of my heart. I know now that Gohonzon has lead me to take this path, this choice; I must be more strict with myself and really determine the true goal of this choice and make it clear to myself - how it can contribute to kosen-rufu in Australia.

I am fortunate enough to have a lecturer who cares about the future teacher. Just from my first lesson, his passion to teach us is apparent. He has offered all the mid-year intake students to come to observe his class. I'll be going in this coming Monday... I think I'll take advantage of his offer and go in more often, we'll see...

The only thing I am currently challenging face on is my fears... I need to discover the root of this fear, so that I can attack it and abolish it from myself. Chant more is all that I can do at the moment.