Reference #5

Wow! It's been almost a month since I wrote here.

Well, nothing much happening, uni started again and I'm back into the rhythm. I'm pretty much settled in my new place. Haven't 100% unpacked yet, but it's slowly starting to come together.

Commonwealth Games has come and gone, wasn't really into the "Spirit of the Games" over here. Especially when the trams/trains/bus started to have 'interrupted service'.

Many things are happening, but mainly I feel a bit detached since I've moved. Don't know why... maybe I need a break. But I'm already on 'holidays'... I only go to uni two days a week, I volunteer one of the days to tutor refugee children and the rest are suppose to be towards SGI activities (which I seem to be doing virtually nothing).

I've redetermined to do shakabuku a couple weeks back, but I've yet to make any concrete action. I've been chanting a bit, but sometimes I feel it isn't enough (the act of chanting, not really the amount of chanting, but a bit more wouldn't hurt).

I've seen so many members around me challenging themselves; when I reflect upon myself, I seem to be not challenging anything. Maybe I don't really feel the sense of urgency... I'm starting to see my fundamental darkness slowly creeping up on me. It's funny, as you practice for more and more years, you start to clearly see things that you learn about in your buddhist studies.

In a sense I'm a noob in this Buddhist practice (been doing it since I was born; well, ok not when I was born, but maybe around 5/6years old). To clearly understand and see the Buddhist concepts in action, in your life is a very peculiar experience. You see the faults/cracks in your life, you know how to mend it (cause you've read about it or study it in your Buddhist activities), but yet at the same time, you feel reluctant to start. That's where I stand at the moment. I see the different problems and their solutions that is apparent in my life right now, but staying status quo requires less effort.

So that leads me back to a lack of challenge in my life right now. Maybe I don't have a motivating factor. Chanting seems to be alright, even though I'm in much more regular/consistent practice, I still miss a day or two per week consistently. I chant quite a bit these days before I go off to study on my days off; maybe I should be aiming for daily practice rather than consistent practice.

Well, my mind is in knots and I can't be really bothered to think it through right now; all I know is that I'm not challenging myself and this needs to be rectified.

Anyways, the main aim of this post was to share with you this link:

http://www.parrotresearch.com/conversations2.html

A bit freaky... maybe it's a hoax, but sometimes you wonder if animals are smarter than humans.