Chugging along..

Looks like I've been absent from this blog for a loooooong time. But judging from my past behavior this shouldn't be new.

Anyways, been busy - well, kind of busy... it's just an expression for me to use so that I don't need to give you the long-winded version of how challenging/troublesome/exciting/fun/depressing/etc... my life has been since way back when.

What? You want to know? Ok, ok... I'll give you a summarized version.

1. Came back from OYPC (that's my Buddhist peace conference - Oceania Youth Peace Conference - in the Sydney SGIA HQ @ Olympic park).

2. Kind of job searched.

3. No luck, felt depressed.

4. Found encouragement in faith - started chanting more.

5. Apply for more jobs - this time more seriously: able to meeting chanting target continuously.

6. Got an interview... 1 week plus later got rejection letter, along with other schools rejection letters. Felt depressed again.

7. Re-determined again, but chanting faltering.

8. Set chanting consistency with gf - make opportunity to chant together morning and evening consistently.

9. Got a call from a friend who offered me a job packing socks @ a factory for 1 week (this week).

10. Start packing job; found boredom but also chance to reflect on self.

11. Currently feeling very positive and challenging situation with vigor.

Signs of positive encouragement:
- Have current packing job = earns enough cash for Christmas bonus ^.^ ... or maybe for Jan rent -.-"
- Long lost uni friend gave me a call; offered to help with my job search. Meeting up with him for dinner for a catch-up session next week.
- Chanting consistently with gf = really enjoy it; determined to chant more on own time.

Ok, that's the current preview of my life so far.

Just at the socks factory packing job, I had a lot (A LOT) of time to think as my mind started to shutdown from the ever repetitive work. I mean, I enjoy the work - like I said, it gives me reflection time. Sometimes we cruise through life without really looking at who we are and where we are. This job allows me to do that and I know one thing for certain - I don't want to earn my keep at a factory. Don't get me wrong, I don't see it as a bad job, in fact I can probably point out a few value creative reasons why it is a good job. However, if I do decide to settle on similar jobs, I know for certain that I have given up on my dreams and goals.

I know I am facing hard times in getting a job, but it is my fault, I guess... I'll have to take responsibility in this particular hard times. I haven't been really doing a positive job on my application... many generic cut and paste from previous applications that I've honed a while back. I'll have to get back on track.

Been waking up quite early since Monday for this job... about 5:40am; I have to be there at 7am to start work. Waking up this early allows me to have a nice brekkie and opportunity to chant at least 30 minutes. I really feel that daimoku does provide me with a focus/central leaning in all my actions for the day. I guess we really win if we base our lives on Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo.

I'm not sure if I won today. I set out the determination that this week, I'll do my 7am-3:30pm factory work, morning and evening gongyo & daimoku, housework, and job applications. Today I've done everything except the job application... which I think is more important.

So did I win today? If I only accomplish 90% of what I determine to do, have I lost/won?