My Decision

First off, I would like to thank the anonymous commenter of my blog for his/her encouragement. Just the fact that someone, other than my partner, reads my blog actually brings me joy - there is actually someone interested in my life... hahaha... (*narcissistic self basks in self glory*)

Anyways, apologies for not updating about Wednesday. Actually it was the day of my friend and our dear Sokahan chief of Victoria State wedding. Surprise, surprise... he married a Jacaranda (Byakuren). So, as expected, the Jacaranda and Sokahan team banded together to organize and run the event of his wedding ceremony at the kaikan and also at the reception at Forest Hill. I think he might send out some pictures so I'll upload them here when I get them. Which reminds me... I remember saying I'll post some pictures that Stephie took when she emailed me... but she never did - so I must just say that I haven't forgotten. What I do know is that LY received it in her email, so I'll just get it from her and post it up here later...

Back to the topic at hand... I just have to mention a few things about the wedding. Our SGIA General Director Greg Johns came down to conduct the gongyo & daimoku and also said a few words of encouragement and congratulations. The Main Hall was full house with guests, family and friends. We even rolled out a red carpet from the entrance of the main hall until the front of the altar. That place has never been grander! For once the Main Hall was suddenly transformed into something with an air of a throne room! And all because of a red carpet.

The lunch reception was a simple affair with invited guests only... just that the sound system was so unfamiliar to me (I wasn't there to set up) that things didn't go as well as it should... the music wasn't loud enough. But fortunately it was sorted out about midway through the reception.

Which brings me back to my issue. Yes, the vice-principal called me again on during the reception. Since the last time he called me I was confused and a bit afraid of the unknown in the future. I spent most of Sunday just strategizing with my mind... even though I knew it was a big no-no in terms of my Buddhist practice. I am suppose to chant to derive the best wisdom so that the correct course of action that is best for my life will become clear to me. Later that night I told LY about it and she was a bit shocked and a bit sad. She started to list out all the things that she will feel if I was apart from her; and they were mainly negative ones.

I chanted on that Sunday night and I felt calm... I wasn't panicky... just calm. You see, I really felt that both ways worked well with me - to go or not to go. Each one has its own challenges and no matter what path I chose, I had to go all out 100%! I was just unsure or confused on what is the best for my life to expand.

The next day I didn't think about it... actually only thought about the job offer when I chanted... other times I just didn't let it enter my mind - despite the constant reminders by LY who would hypothesize what would happen if I did this or this.

So by Wednesday, the only thing I was sure of was that I needed to talk to my YMD state leader and my local YMD region colleagues. When the vice-principal called I told him that I needed until Friday to make a decision. Of course he was happy to wait... or more like he had no choice.

Anyways, had coffee with three people at various times and accomplished some New Year's Gongyo setup at the kaikan in between on Thursday (yesterday). Surprisingly, all three of them were supportive, surprise and happy with this job offer. But I think my YMD state leader had a good point - he told me that (in many words quoted from a guidance from Kazuo Fujii - some leader from SGI-UK) chanting to the Gohonzon to make a decision for me is the wrong perception. The Gohonzon doesn't work that way... in fact it is a "wish-granting jewel" - chanting to the Gohonzon enables us to realize our goals. I had to make the decision.

So it all came down to what is my mission? I reflected deeply on this point and I am reminded of what made me take the Grad. Dip of Education course a year plus ago. Back then I was chanting for a new direction that would develop me and help me develop my own absolute happiness. I guess that chanting campaign help me realized the option of becoming a teacher. But back then I had the choice of being a teacher or continue on as a research scientist.

I think only now I realized that because I set my sights and determination to become a teacher and chanted to the Gohonzon for it... I am where I am now. The power of Gohonzon is mystic and true! Reminiscing my recent uni years - it was difficult... most of the subjects were theoretical and required my essays - which I recall doing very badly at uni level in my undergraduate year when I took a 1 semester philosophy class (why the heck did I do that??!!). So I think it is a benefit of my practice and chanting to the Gohonzon that I am able to get high marks! Furthermore, I would class myself as a person who is very poor in human relations - let alone getting along with children! But yet, with consistent chanting and activities, I was able to pull through my teaching placement. I guess what I am saying here is that I recognize now the benefits of my practice... I've always feel that I don't have any actual proof, but now it is all very clear to me.

So from Wednesday and talking to others, I chanted quality daimoku (not quantity... ^.^) and I made my decision on Thursday afternoon - a decision that felt good in my heart.

I am going to Nhill.

I can list out all the great things this can do to my growth as a person, for my human revolution or benefits from the training I will receive as a teacher. I can even list out all the reasons why I shouldn't go... but I realize that technically... all these reasons are 'mundane' reasons. Reasons that are transient, mutable and subject to change in time.

But I won't list them out. I am going, for better or worst... and even if it was for the worst, I CAN TRANSFORM IT! I am a Bodhisattva of the Earth and I have my Gohonzon.

So today (Friday) the vice-principal called again and I accepted his offer. Of course he was rapt. Now it is just some paperwork to fill in and I get my first pay check (even before I teach! Wow! Talk about financial benefit!) in about 2 weeks time.

He'll keep in touch with me over the next few weeks... I'll probably move over there around the 22nd of January week as they require all staff to come in latest, 30th Jan.

Oh yeah, another benefit... accommodation-wise is quite simple - just need to meet him and grab the keys! Plus another teacher got married and because he is moving out of the flats, there are some extras he needs to sell off cheaply like microwave and what-not. Also the flat I'm moving into is about 200 m from school - talk about ironic because I chanted for work to be near where I live. I think I leave out the ironic stuff for another post as this one is soooooooo long... plus my hands hurt from typing.

So the challenge begins today! I have ended 2006/started 2007 with Advancement and Victory!

My name is Victor, from Victoria, and I am Victorious!